A Question of Balance

When we’re younger, most of us dream about the future. That doesn’t stop as we age. Many of us continue to dream about the future even as mature adults. We think about our spouse’s or our next career move, how our children will grow and develop, create that 10- or 15-year plan. 

I turned 30 this year and realized I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. 

As I watched many of my friends apply to graduate school, pursue degrees, achieve big promotions at work, I realized that I have no idea what my next step is. Do I have one? If I miss it, do I fall off the face of the earth? What am I supposed to do?

I’ve been a writer since I graduated from college. My degree was in English with a focus in journalism (and some government and politics studies minor thrown into the mix). I’ve done political writing. I’ve worked as a reporter. But what is my next move? 

This is a tough moment for a lot of military spouses. In a life where the next move is often literallya move to another state or across the world, it’s hard to keep our careers moving even when we knowwhat we’re doing, even when we have that 10- or 15-year plan in motion, crossing off each goal on our list with a smile of achievement. 

But our career is a tough thing to develop. We never know when we’ll leave our home or where we’ll go next. While our service member can create a 10- or 15-year plan, we have to wing it when we can. We can create goals, but accept that our goals may have to wait until the military isn’t calling the shots.  

To read more, head over to ArmyWifeNetwork!

Understanding the dreaded "After"

I watched a really sweet video yesterday on a Facebook page I follow. It was a Navy service member who arrived home after a deployment. His wife was holding a sign, but as she lowered her sign, she showed him a swollen belly, announcing her pregnancy. Somehow she managed to keep it a secret the whole time he was gone (I'm too quick to blab). As her husband stared in awe (or maybe denial/disbelief) they embraced, kissed and the video ended.

I usually read comments on stories like that, but I curiously scrolled down. This particular video was not posted to a military page, so some comments came from individuals who have never experienced a re-deployment (or the more positive, "homecoming"). The comments proved this.

Many comments mentioned the "awkwardness" of the couple interacting. Some even wondered why the husband wasn't more excited to see his wife or why the wife wasn't more romantic to her husband.

There is a reason that homecoming videos are often referred to as "reunion porn" by many military family members. 

Don't get me wrong. Reunions are a beautiful thing to watch. I love all of the videos: service members greeted by their pets, service members surprising their children in school (or any surprise video) or the simple couple reunions. I had the heartwarming experience to watch families reunited at redeployment ceremonies when I was a young reporter on a military installation. Fathers seeing a baby for the first time. Parents gobsmacked by how tall their children are. Service members surprised at seeing their spouse in person after months of separation. Tons of smiles, kisses, warm embraces. Military homecoming ceremonies are truly tear-jerking experiences.

But no one ever covers the "after."

The "after" is a very difficult period for everyone involved: service member, spouse, children, even extended family. 

The military refers to it as "reintegration" and it really is as odd as it sounds. While the military has counselors that try to share ways to ease integration, it's often easier said than done. 

When families are separated for months at a time, all parties involved change. Children grow and their interests evolve. Spouses may gain weight or lose weight. They may have gone from unemployed to working a job they love. A spouse is used to doing everything at home and the service member finds it difficult to ascertain where he or she fits in with the rest of the family. Couples fight. There are disagreements with disciplining children. Children may be partial to the parent who hasn't deployed. Intimacy may be awkward at first or else difficult. It may be hard for a couple to share a bed (combat stress affects many service members and post-traumatic stress can be difficult to treat). And very little of this mentions what is going on with the service member as he or she adjusts to no longer being in a combat zone. Sometimes families fall apart and couples divorce. The rest of us find ways to make it work, but they may not be the best way, certainly aren't foolproof and aren't without difficulties. 

My memories of homecoming are very fond, but I can still feel the awkwardness. The Mr. took his R&R only four months into a year-long deployment. That meant we still had more than seven months until he would get home for good. It was strange to hug and kiss him, regardless of how thrilled I was that he was finally home safe, sound and unhurt. Being alone together on the drive home after the ceremony felt odd. It wasn't our "normal" anymore after a year apart.

Reintegration was very difficult. When The Mr. deployed, I was unemployed and sitting on student loan debt. When he came back, I was working a fast-paced job as a reporter, even working nights and weekends. There were nights he had to make his own meal or grab something on the way home. He didn't know what my schedule was anymore and wasn't sure how he fit into it. Rightly so. We hadn't had to work through issues within our household for a year and were suddenly trying to do things jointly. We weren't the solid team we were when he left. The first two months were rocky and we frequently argued. Fortunately, we found a way to work through it that was successful for us. We went to the reintegration classes together and attempted to use the skills they offered. We had a book from the post chaplain that we cracked to help us be on the same page (the book was "His Needs, Her Needs," and I highly recommend it to any couple). 

We did it. But many families take much longer or don't get to that point at all. 

I can't blame the civilian population for not knowing these things. It isn't something many military family members are willing to bring to light. We don't want to feed the silly stereotype that service members are loose canons. Most civilians understand that service members take time to reach a new normal, but they don't recognize how families may be affected by that change too. They don't know how long it takes to reach that new normal and how difficult it is to achieve an even keel.

While viewers see the awkward embrace or what they believe is a lack of emotion, military families know all too well what may be running through the couple's heads. We're thankful, relieved, calmer and full of love and excitement now that our loved one is home, but we know there is some hard work ahead (especially if this isn't the first deployment). Actually experiencing the encounter is very different than what you may see.

The next time you watch a reunion encounter, online or on TV, remember this. It's normal for those encounters to be awkward. It's also normal for those to be full of love and uncertainty. Because when the dust from the duffel bags settles, the welcome home signs are deposited in the trash bins and people are no longer saying, "it must be great to have them home," the couple is reaching the dreaded "after."

The End of Your Life Book Club — Review

Have you ever found yourself connecting what you read to different periods or events in your life? Maybe you enjoy revising a book because it reminds you of summer, your parents, a fun trip you took or some other memory. I think it can have the same effect as music or smells. Books tend to stick with us in other ways, offering comfort when we need it, excitement when we seek it and educating readers about the world around us.

The End of Your Life Book Club by Will Schwalbe

Schwalbe's mother, Mary Anne, is diagnosed with cancer and, while undergoing treatment, he escorts her to each session. They decide to start their own "book club" and they agree to discuss their books at each of her treatment sessions. The book shows how we become emotionally connected with the books we read. Throughout the book, Schwalbe shares details of his own life and the life of his mother while discussing more than 100 books in the pages.

Schwalbe has a conversational writing style, but he ensures the reader stays connected. When describing the books he discusses with Mary Anne, he is not about humility. Like may readers, Schwalbe struggles to finish certain novels, not necessarily pleased that he has done so. The books he writes about cover a variety of genres including literature, religion, biographies, memoirs, plays, children's books and more. Readers may find themselves appreciating Schwalbe's views of their favorite books.

Books for Living by Charles Schwalbe

If you choose to read The End of Your Life Book Club, I highly recommend following it up with Books for Living. In the similar fashion of connecting emotions and experiences to books, Schwalbe chooses to specifically connect life experiences with titles. He shares wonderful personal experiences, such as a time when he was on a flight with a soldier. This man was interested in what books he should read, so Schwalbe provides him with a list.

* * * 

Reading these books made me feel like I do when I sit with reader-friends and discuss what we've read, books that are important to us and books that stuck with us. It was also a great way to discover new genres, new authors or other books I may have heard of, but keep overlooking. 

Happy reading!

Sometimes, you have to put yourself first

If you've been reading this blog since its beginning or if you know me personally, you probably know that I'm very big on reading. I like to share the titles I've finished on my personal Facebook page since I have many reader-friends. Some of these friends frequently comment, "I don't know how you can read so much with three children." Ultimately, the reason I read so much is because it's what I enjoy.

I'm going to share something that seems very unconventional, but hear me out.

In relationships throughout your life, you must learn how to put yourself first. 

Was that a little difficult to read? Rub you the wrong way? Well, bear with me.

If you aren't happy with yourself or in your own life, how can you be happy with the people around you?

I spent some time thinking about this concept after finishing the book, "Screamfree Parenting." One point the author, a licensed family and marriage therapist, makes is that parents frequently allow their children to consume their lives. That can be extrapolated to apply to friendships or even a marriage. Therapist and author Hal Edward Runkle says it this way: "The greatest thing you can do for your kids is learn to focus on yourself . . . By focusing on yourself, you will have a healthier, happier relationship with your whole family."

I've seen it said another way as well. When you're on an airplane and the flight attendant is reciting the often ignored safety details, they always say to ensure you put your own mask on before helping anyone else around you. Even your children. Because you can't do anything for anyone else if you aren't first doing something for yourself.

Some individuals spend hours of their day completely consumed by other people and they often don't get time to themselves. This sounds selfish, but when considering it further, you may see that it isn't selfish. By taking some time for yourself, to focus on activities you love, you can then put a better self forward.

In response to this perspective, I've seen some people say, "well, you shouldn't have gotten married then" or "I guess you shouldn't have had children." Yet I'm still trying to understand why some believe we must completely give up our individual spirit simply because we have relationships.

I don't mean to say that you should do your own thing all day long and leave your children hanging out in front of a TV or on a tablet. Or to shove your husband off the couch or tune him out when you're in the middle of something. Or to ignore your friends' messages. For the record, please don't do those things. But say you wake before your kids, get a cup of coffee in a silent home, maybe page through a magazine. You are taking time for yourself. Maybe you'd rather end your day focusing on you with a warm bath, music and a book. Maybe you prefer using your children's nap time to watch your favorite show and eat the junk food your kids can't have.

For me, I wake anywhere between 5:30 and 7 a.m. I'm a stay at home/work from home mom, so I don't have to race off to work every day. During those early hours before my kids are up, I get showered and ready for the day, drink my coffee while reading a book or writing and enjoy the quiet. It helps me recharge and really rise for the day. I literally put myself first, first thing in the morning.

Despite the early mornings, I find I'm more alert and ready to break up the scuffles between my kids, race them around the house, tackle them in the back yard, read every book they want or build the tallest towers, the coolest forts and exciting Little People villages.

As a wife, I'm able to set my own things aside after the kids go to bed and The Mr. is home so that he and I can have uninterrupted time together, be it having a drink while we chat about the day, have a little fire on the patio, watch a movie or play a board game.

As a friend, it means I'm more willing to go out of the house. As someone who is definitely more introverted, spending days outside the house with groups of people tires me. I almost need a sort of recovery time afterward to reset myself. If I'm able to do my own thing each day, I'm more open to being more social.

And if I miss that time? I feel like I'm not as good of a mom. I feel like an unsupportive spouse and friend. By being "selfish," I'm able to be my best self for everyone else in my life. I'm not as tired, as cranky or craving anything that isn't reading "Elmer" for the 15th time that day.

I love my children, my husband and my friends. I still pay attention to their needs and tend to them as necessary. But, I recognize when I'm losing the "me" that I want to cultivate, and ensure I tend to myself first.

Six books that would make me say, "Let's be friends"

You can tell a lot about a person by what titles you see on their bookshelf. Most people read books that interest them, so it's a great way to get to know a person. Lots of history books? They're probably into history. Biographies about famous athletes? They probably enjoy sports. Books on Feminism? You guessed it, they're probably into Feminism. Same goes for politics, animals, economics and so on.

I follow a few book blogs on Facebook to help expand my reading list. The site "Book Riot" recently re-posted an older blog that appeared on their website called, "If We See These Books On Your Shelves, We Should Probably Be Friends" (you can read it here). Most of the list consisted of obscure books I had never heard of, except for The Hobbit. I don't think the author and I would have made very good friends.

It got me thinking, which books would make me say, "Let's be friends?"

The Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling
Absolutely, positively, 100 percent yes. I fell in love with the Harry Potter series when I was in sixth grade. One of those Scholastic Book Fairs was at my school and it was one of the most popular books. I jumped on the bandwagon to read it. I worked my way through the first half, unsure of what the fuss was about. By the end, I was hooked. I read the first book when I was 11 years old — the same age as Harry and the other First Years in The Sorcerer's Stone. As the other books were released year, after year, I was usually about the same age as the characters. It made them feel like friends I was growing up with. The final book came out when I was 19. Since then, I've tried to re-read it year after year.

If I see these books on your shelf, I can assume you're probably pretty empathetic. Or so Scientific American believes (no seriously, check out the link!). You, like me, may have grown up with the characters. You probably feel like they're old friends, just like I do. And you probably enjoy reading. Why don't we get together and watch the movies while comparing to key plot points that are missed?

To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
I only read this book for the first time a few months ago. I fell in love with the story, the relationship between Jem and Scout (it reminded me of my sibling relationship with my brother), and the kind of father Atticus chose to be for his children. I'm glad I read it when I was older because I believe I appreciated it more. Many of the novel's themes would have been lost on me as a teenager.

If I see this on your shelf, I assume that family is important to you and that you like to stand on the side of what is right and just. We should meet for coffee and discuss current injustices in the US.

The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster
While a children's chapter book, this story has some more adult themes (such as a love for education) throughout its pages. There are so many puns and idioms and so much wordplay that most of the targeted audience probably misses those references. Reading it as an adult is even more exciting than as a child.

If you're reading this, you probably enjoy wordplay and you might also have studied English in school (like me!). You probably have a strong imagination and are genuine, since you don't find it a shame to read books marketed to a younger audience. Good for you! Now, what is your stance on crossword puzzles?

John Adams by David McCullough 
While this is a massive history book filled with information around the time of America's founding, it reads like a novel. John Adams is probably my favorite founding father, even though he doesn't always have the most positive reputation.

I'll award you half points for owning the HBO miniseries (which is fantastic and a must-watch), but major bonus points if you have a book of letters between Adams and his wife, Abigail. The letters are basically a beautiful love story between a couple that was separated for many, many years during a time where post was hand-carried by people going to the same place and travel was extremely dangerous. The book only scrapes the surface of that relationship.

If you have this on your shelf, I imagine you have an interest in history (at least of the founding period) and enjoy gripping stories. You may even have a slight romantic edge to you or pine for the days of letter writing. We could discuss details of the founding and the declaration over warm mugs of coffee. Certainly not tea.

America's Women: 400 Years of Dolls, Drudges, Helpmates and Heroines by Gail Collins
This is a fascinating history of women in the United States, those who were often hidden from history books and missing from memories. As the title suggests, the book packs in 400 years of history involving women and the stories provide women, young and old, with new role models to admire.

If you have this book, I would assume that feminism is somewhat important to you. You believe that women have had a place throughout history even if we weren't learning their names or deeds in high school classes. I'd love to chat with you about who your favorite lesser-known lass is and why.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
I think a lot of classics can seem pretentious when they make their way onto a book list. I believe a lot of readers keep classics on their shelves, but rarely read them (unless they were a literature or English major in college). Even I have a number of classics on my shelf I haven't yet managed to get through or to. That said, Pride and Prejudice is one classic novel that I actually thoroughly enjoy and frequently revisit. Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan said it's her favorite book to revisit once per year. I try to read it just as often.

If you have this book, I assume you probably wear your heart on your sleeve. You aren't one to be fooled by flash and expense, but look to the genuine heart of a person. Who wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that? Let's meet up sometime to discuss the appeal of Darcy.

What books would make you say, "Let's be friends?"

We get around: 10 traveling tips to ease a trip with little tykes

When planning a family trip to a city, it can be overwhelming to figure out how to get around with kids. Packing is bad enough, what with multiple outfits, back-up outfits, snacks, drinks, strollers (or no strollers), entertainment for the kids and fitting it all in a car. But don't worry!

I came up with this idea while we were traveling in Berlin (for more on that trip, go here). I felt like the Mr. and I were learning a bunch of things and came away from that trip with a better idea of getting around with children in tow. These tips are centered around the idea of traveling with kids in cities, but they can be adapted to travel to any destination.

Here are 10 tips that might be helpful for your next trip:

Before you go

1. Plan in advance
What sites do you want to see? Are there museums you'd like to visit? Any activities your kids would enjoy? Whatever you want to do on your trip, try to plan those things in advance. GoogleMaps is great at showing what landmarks, memorials, historic sites, museums and other attractions are nearby. Try using Google, websites like TripAdvisor and travel books to help plan where you will go and what you will do. If you plan to walk most places, try to find a hotel nearest to the attractions that interest you. Drop pins on GoogleMaps to see how long it will take to walk your route.

2. Remember the children
There are some attractions that are great for kids and others that aren't so great. Try fitting kid-friendly activities in with your adult activities. Maybe there's a park on your route where the kids can play before going to the next stop. Maybe there's an aquarium that your children will enjoy. On our trip to Berlin, the Mr. and I wanted to see mostly historic sites. Because of rain we were forced inside and we chose an aquarium — the kids could be loud, walk around and have a nice break from the more mundane adult stops. Some hotels now keep DVD players in their rooms, so tuck a few movies into your bag in case you need them for a rainy day or a break. Ask about a continental or breakfast buffet. Starting the day with a nice, full breakfast can go a long way with children.

3. If you need a crib, ask the hotel
Hotels sometimes have a limited number of cribs available, so be sure to ask for one when booking your room. While you're at it, you can find out what other kid-friendly things are at your hotel. Is there a pool attached? A play area? Our hotel in Berlin had a giant fish tank, so we would get the kids out of the room to check out the fish. It was something small, but just enough to break up the monotony.

4. Babywear or stroller?
Depending on the city, it can be tough to use a stroller. If you're like my family, then you need a double stroller, which is more like a stretch limousine. We used a Graco Sit 'N Stand stroller in Berlin so that our oldest, A, could ride on the bench when she was tired. N, our middle child, rode in the front of the stroller for each outing. I wore Little T the entire time in an Ergo soft structured carrier. You can use other options like hiking backpacks, ring slings, woven wraps or a different brand of SSC. Whatever you use, be sure it will be suitable for your route. If you plan to use the subway or bus systems on your trip, a sit n stand-type stroller probably isn't the best option. Instead, you might want to opt for an umbrella stroller and a baby carrier. If the city is older, it may be bumpy and a stroller won't work. Baby carriers are easy to use depending which type you choose. If you are located in the United States, you can get more information from Babywearing International and find a group near you.

Once you're there

5. Set alarms on your phone

It's easy to get absorbed in your travels and forget what time it is. Be sure to set alarms on your phone to remind you when it's close to lunchtime, snack time, water breaks, etc. You'll also want to fit in nap time for the children. Some kids do great at sleeping in a stroller, but others don't. Plan accordingly based on your own child's needs. Kids tend to cry, get whiny or complain when they're tired or hungry. Be ready to refuel as needed to help mitigate that behavior. We chose to break for lunch at outdoor locations so we didn't have to worry as much about how much noise the kids made.

6. Pack ALL THE SNACKS

Seriously, don't skimp on anything. First, your kids will need snacks in case you aren't near a place to eat. You can offer healthy snacks like yogurt or applesauce in a pouch, peanut butter crackers, dried fruit or crackers. Second, you may find yourself at a memorial or location that has a more somber feel. The last thing you want is your kid screaming. Ply them with snacks. I kept lollipops and gummy bears for this reason (we called it our "break in case of emergency" stash). In addition to snacks, remember drinks. Choose water over anything else if you flew to your destination. Your kids will get dehydrated and thirsty just like you when flying. You can also pack juice boxes for a treat. 

7. Watch for signs that your kids have had enough

As much as you may want the trip to be for you and your spouse, you decided to bring your children along, too. It's only fair that their needs be just as important as yours. If you see they can't sit still any longer or are whiny despite taking naps and eating, it may be time to find something fun for them to do. For some kids, like mine, we had to get back to the hotel by about 3 or 4. Remember those DVDs you packed? Now might be a good time to put one in and let your children lounge in the room.

8. Make memories

While you may have some more negative moments during your trip (tantrums, whining, crying, etc.), try to make special memories as a family. Friends of mine pack a "Selfie Stick" for their trips throughout Europe so they can preserve special memories of each destination. Take the time to go to a souvenir shop (even if it's in the hotel) so your kids can pick out a special present from their trip. Don't just take pictures of the things you see, but also of your kids. And moms, if you can be in the pictures too, that's all the better.

Heading home

9. Depart at a convenient time for the children (if you can)

This isn't always easy if you're flying, especially if you're flying international. If you can, choose times that will be easier for your kids to handle. Maybe an early flight so they sleep. Maybe one toward the middle of the day when they would nap. Or maybe an overnight flight so they can sleep for most of it. (If your budget allows, I always recommend getting your children their own seats and bringing the carseats on the plane — especially if your kids sleep great in their carseats.) If you're driving, it may be best to leave early in the morning or at bedtime so your kids can sleep in the car and you can avoid traffic. 

10. Have patience

This should pretty much fall under every. Single. Moment. Of the trip. But it's especially important when the anticipation is over, the trip is finished and you're going back home. Younger kids are especially tired after all they've seen and done, even when they've had plenty of sleep. Try to be patient during this final portion of the trip. Ply the kids (again) with snacks, give them the tablet (if you have one) to help occupy them and be lenient if they need to get out and stretch their legs or scream in their carseat. It'll be over soon.

Traveling with children isn't easy, but traveling together as a family should become a norm. The more you do it, the easier it becomes for your children. Remember that toys to keep them busy, snacks and fun activities just for them can go a long way to keep your kids happy on your trip. Be mindful that you don't overdo it and be prepared to wing it if needed. You may come up with a good itinerary, but it doesn't need to be permanent. Allow for some wiggle room. Most of all, try to enjoy it. Depending on your destination, there are so many amazing things to see. Things even your children will love. Do what you can and snap pictures of those little smiles. 

Happy traveling! 

Let them come to Berlin

"Lasst sie nach Berlin kommen"

"Let them come to Berlin"

These words were spoken when John F. Kennedy made his famous "Ich bin ein Berliner" speech. I had always wanted to go to Berlin. I grew up hearing stories about the famous landmarks that are still standing. My grandparents lived in Germany two separate times during my grandfather's 20-year Army career, one of which was Berlin where my grandparents, dad and uncle lived in divided Germany. They were behind the Iron Curtain when the Berlin Wall was still standing. I looked forward to a day where I could see where they all lived and stand where they stood. A four-day weekend was my chance. 

A little background: We are a military family and The Mr. got stationed in Germany last year. Because I found out I was pregnant one month after arriving and suffered from sciatica for most of my pregnancy, it was hard to be on my feet for long or walking long distances. Now that Little T is over two months old, we planned our first trip.

We left bright and early, hoping the kids would have some time to sleep (they didn't) and that we'd avoid traffic (we fortunately did). We checked in to a hotel in what was East Berlin, complete with a gigantic fish tank that stretched five stories high. The girls loved seeing the fish swimming around and there were even little Dories in the tank.

We set off for some sightseeing after refueling with pizza (and beer for the adults). Unfortunately, it was typical Berlin weather and was cold, rainy and super windy. We ducked into an aquarium for some fun for the kids. We didn't get to do much. The kids were worn out and it was a mom-fail thinking they would have rested enough in the car to do more things. I was wrong.

We started fresh on Sunday and fit in ALL THE SIGHTS. We saw:

The Berlin Cathedral

It has a pretty intense history dating back to the 1500's. Basically, churches were built, then re-built, it was hit by bombing during World War II and then rebuilt again. What is there today is pretty much what it has looked like since its completion in 1905. It was damaged due to Allied bombings in World War II. The bells made a beautiful sound.

The Brandenburg Gate from the East side (a view my family members never got to see)...

...and from the West Side

This is the symbol of Germany, representing Unity and Peace. It was built between 1788 and 1791. Four horses pull the chariot of Eirene, the Greek goddess of peace. She originally held an olive wreath, but after Napoleon stole it in 1806, the wreath was replaced with an Iron Cross once returned.

Where Reagan stood when he spoke about tearing down the Wall

The Reichstag Building

 The Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe

There are 2,711 concrete slabs in a 4.7-acre area. It's built near Hitler's bunker which is under a parking lot now.

 Various sections of the original wall like here...

...and here...

This is the Topography of Terrors Museum. t's built in the basement of the Gestapo and SS headquarters building, where prisoners were tortured and executed. It details the repression of the Nazi regime. The building was destroyed by Allied bombings and the rubble of the gates is still there.

...and here (part of the East Side Gallery)

This portion of the original wall stretches a great distance. Top graffiti artists were asked to paint different portions. 

Checkpoint Charlie

This was a crossing point between East and West Berlin that was controlled by Americans. The wall was on the left side running almost directly through the intersection that is there.

St. Mary's Church

The Church was a Catholic church until the Protestant Reformation when it became a Lutheran Protestant Church. A statue of Martin Luther stands in front of it.

The Berlin TV Tower

It was built in the 1960's and was a symbol of both the communist regime and East Berlin.

Kaiser Wilhelm Church

The church was damaged, like many buildings in Berlin, in the Allied bombings. Repairs were made to maintain the structure and a new church was built at the site.

We also drove to the house where my family members lived, which is now diplomatic housing. We saw so many museums, but it wasn't the best choice with three children in tow. Next time. Walking around the city, there was no shortage of things to do. We spent three days there and I feel like there is so much more we could have seen and done.

There were a few cool things we saw:

Like Ampelmannchen 

East Germans used a man in a hat to tell you when to cross and when to wait. There are entire souvenir shops dedicated to him. Apparently the symbol was removed since it was developed by the communists, but demonstrators protested to have it brought back in 2005. Now he is one of the few symbols of East Germany still used.


Statues along bridge


The Neptune Fountain

Statue of Karl Marx and Freidrich Engels

The city was fairly easy to navigate with children and even with strollers. I wore Little T while The Mr. pushed A and N in the stroller (for more on traveling with kids, go here). They girls loved riding around and we were able to fit in things like the aquarium that we knew they'd enjoy.

The drive home was hectic. We hit multiple staus (the German term for traffic jam) and a closed Autobahn. The Mr. kept trying to find routes around, but everyone else was doing the same. At one point I was double-fisting juice boxes and wishing it was wine.

The Mr. finally came up with a route where no one was going. That route just so happened to be a gravel road we probably weren't supposed to be driving down. We can speak enough German to get by, but when it comes to signs, we aren't always great at that. I didn't have any suggestions to improve our situation, so I said, "I hope this pans out!" It was bumpy and hilly, but eventually led to a paved road. We made it back to the Autobahn without anymore issues!

A break at McDonald's was exactly what the kids needed and we plugged them with burgers and fries to get through the final hours of the trip. We were all tired of being in the car by the time we arrived home, but we arrived safely and with some great memories.

The one souvenir I wanted to leave with was a miniature Brandenburg Gate for the kids (I bought one for myself as well). It represents both their trip to Berlin, but also their time in Germany. One day, we can tell them stories about how their PopPop and Grammy and Pappy all lived in Berlin and Mommy wanted to go to see those things. We can tell them that Germany wasn't always a happy place to be, but that the Gate represents unity and peace. Maybe when they're older, they'll make a trip back here to see the sights they don't remember seeing as children.

And maybe, one day, they will let their children come to Berlin.

It just might be turning into a family tradition.